We still find comfort in the fact that she no longer is in pain or sick or struggling. Mikayla asks about her quite a bit, she doesn’t quite understand it but she knows that my mom is in heaven. She recognizes her in pictures and calls her Grandma.
It still makes me sad that she will never know other than stories what an incredible and courageous woman, mother and friend my mom was and what a kind and gentle spirit. I see a lot of my mom in Mikayla certain mannerisms that she somehow has. It amazes me that Mikayla was almost born on mom’s birthday but the doctors decided we couldn’t wait 4 days.
It still makes me sad that they missed meeting by 49 days, I can remember my mom saying she wished she could hold her just one time. I really miss being able to share this experience with her. I’m thankful beyond words for my dad and my mother-in-law…. Words can’t even express how thankful I am.
I really find myself missing the day to day stuff with her, the silly conversations, the games we would play, talking in “code”, shopping adventures…. things like that. I also find myself parenting with my memories. I remember on Saturday’s taking naps with my mom…. So every Saturday (sometimes Sunday too ;) ) I will go in and will lay down with Mikayla… I can see in my minds eye my mom and I doing that exact same thing and how it would take me awhile to settle down (just as it does Mikayla) and then we sleep, I usually wake before she does (just as my mom did) and leave the room and have some interruption free time. I remember the vegetable game we made up and it turns out Mikayla and I have made up our own little game too. I remember how she made me feel so safe, warm, happy, comfortable and I remember that I also knew the limit..... I have soooo many fond memories. I hope that one day Mikayla will be able to reflect back and remember the really great times even through the pain of loss.
My mom….
Such a special woman
Never far from mind
Never forgotten
November 19, 1938-September 28, 2005
1 comment:
I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this...my prayers are always with you. Makes me realize how short life really is and how we need to cherish every day with our loved ones. Thanks for reminding me of that. *hugs*
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